I think all divorces in America should wait to become final until the holidays arrive. If we did it that way, I know more families would think twice about making such a huge, life changing decision.  Let's face it; the holidays can be a great time to spend with family and friends. But if you are divorced like me, the first Christmas without your kids can be challenging.  However, I am here to help! Here is the "SingleDad Survival Guide" for what to do with yourself during your first Christmas without your kids.

First, Create a Game Plan
If you know it's coming, be prepared. All divorce decrees state the obvious custody dates and timeframes to be spent with your kids. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years are typical holidays where your time with your kids is traded like a commodity on the New York Stock Exchange. So if you know you are going to be alone for Christmas, get busy.

Second, Assemble Your Team
When I found myself alone for holidays for the first time, I gathered a group of friends that offered a variety of activities to fill up my "lonely time" during the holidays. Here are the people that helped get me through the holidays:

Sports Buddy
I had one friend that was strictly my Sports Buddy. This guy was the "go to" friend for knowing about every sports event that was on TV from the beginning of December to the moment Dick Clark rang in the New Year. NHL Hockey and NBA Basketball are in the beginning stages of their seasons. College Football is having their bowl season and the NFL playoffs are shaping up. I would give my Sports Buddy credit for consuming about 25- 30% of my available time during Christmas week. I highly recommend getting a Sports Buddy even if you don't like sports. This is a good way to get out of the house, circulate, and meet new people.  Quick Tips:  stick to your gym time, avoid eating too much sports bar food, your sports buddy can be married, single or divorced- they all just want to get away from home for a while!

The Gal Pal

Now I know what you are thinking when I mention gal and pal together, but it's really a different concept altogether. My strategy was simple, have a plutonic relationship with a girl for companionship and company...plus, make sure she has lots of friends! Now I know not all guys think this way, but my strategy paid off in a big way. Not only did I have a beautiful friend around, I had a mentor. My Gal Pal introduced me to online dating. She built my profile and coached me through those tough questions; and it worked! The math was simple: one Gal Pal equals lots of new women in my life. My Gal Pal and I still stay in touch and I am grateful for our friendship and for how she helped me get back to feeling normal after my divorce.  Quick Tips: Know the difference between a Chardonnay and a IPA, internet dating is a lot of fun, keep your Gal Pal your friend without "benefits"

Family

So between the Sports Buddy and the Gal Pal, I was able to consume 75% of my Christmas week. The remaining 25% of the Christmas break was dedicated to family. I visited my parents and shared time with my brother and sister and their families. I am very lucky to live near my parents and siblings, so I got to experience some family bonding and some great conversations about how my family felt about my divorce. These conversations will always be guarded, but you must have a "post divorce" conversation with everyone. The things that people say... I'm still laughing inside as I write this article and remember a few of those very funny conversations.  Quick Tips:  choose the couch before sleeping in your old room when visiting your parents,  ask your family what they really felt about your ex-spouse now that you are divorced.

Meetup.com?
My Christmas Day solution to my loneliness was simple, I had joined Meetup.com and logged on and located several groups that were meeting on Christmas Day. Some groups were doing day hikes, others were volunteering at community events and churches. I was amazed how many people participate in these groups. I went to three events and met a lot of extraordinary people. What made my first Christmas without my kids special was that my life had completely opened up to new possibilities and friendships that I never thought possible. My day was a blur, but it was a happy blur. Before I knew it, it was already morning and I was heading to the airport to pick up my children.

I hope you enjoyed my survival tips for your first Christmas without your kids and I welcome your feedback: rj@SingleDad.com

Richard "RJ" Jaramillo is the Founder and President of SingleDad.com. He is also a Single Father of three children and resides in San Diego, Ca. With over nine years of experience helping other Single Parents with advice, support,  and resources; RJ is excited to share his company and personal mission on teaching both Men and Women on how to "Make Life Happen...Again!"