October 2010 Newsletter for Blended and Step Families

In this month’s newsletter:

• How to determine when you need outside help
• Preparing for the holidays
• Specials for this month

How to determine when you need outside help

Blending people into a new family is difficult. It’s natural for everyone (adults and kids, alike) to be nervous about the process, have questions about their position in the family, and wonder about what will change and what will stay the same. These are normal feelings and minor issues. 

There are steps you and your spouse can take to answer these questions and calm the fears of your new family. Take some time developing house rules for your new home. Talk with all children involved and let them know that they are loved and have an important place in this new family.  Spend time with your spouse figuring out priorities, short-term goals and long-term goals for your blended family.

Here are few issues that signal the need for outside help:

• The whole house is upside down when kids visit
• You are spending more time focusing on problems with the kids then spending time with your new spouse
• You have at least one child who is adamantly against the blend, and is putting your home in a state of constant turmoil
• You have an ex-spouse that is sabotaging the relationship with their new step parent and you are unsure what to do

Where can you get outside help?

• You can seek local counseling (look for an LPC or LMFT that specializes in blended and step family counseling.)
• You could purchase books like Blended Family Advice- a step-by-step guide to help blended and step families become strong and successful.  There are other books available, too for blended and step families. Check out Amazon.com for more options.
• You could sign up for blended family coaching sessions

Preparing for the holidays

This may be the first holiday season for your blended family, or you have been in a stepfamily for years and already know that the holidays are a difficult time for families that have blended.

Send me your questions and your stories (positive and negative) and I’ll put together something to help everyone make it through the holidays and have some good memories.  Send your questions to Shirley@BlendedFamilyAdvice.com with the subject line “holiday question.”  I’ll address all the questions in the next newsletter.

October Specials

This month’s special focuses on those who need outside help with their blended family. The four-session package of coaching is usually priced at a $50 discount.  In addition to this $50 off discount, in this four session coaching package special, you will also receive:

• A free copy of Blended Family Advice
• 2 free podcasts of your choice

Once you purchase the sessions, you can send me an email with your selected podcasts, and I will send you the link to download them.  You can choose podcasts created by me (Shirley Cress Dudley) or also select individual podcasts from the three webinars:  Blended and Step Family, Focus on Mom, and Newlywed webinars/podcasts.

I will be happy to send you the webinar or podcast version of any of these, after you purchase the coaching package.  Local Charlotteans can see me in person, and if you live outside Charlotte, North Carolina, telephone coaching is arranged to fit your busy schedules. Coaching special (with free podcasts and Blended Family Advice book) is available until November 15^th 9am Eastern.  Click here to purchase this special coaching package.

Talk with you again soon.  I look forward to reading your holiday stories and questions.

Shirley

Shirley Cress Dudley, MA LPC NCC

Director of The Blended and Step Family Resource Center, Charlotte North Carolina

Shirley@BlendedFamilyAdvice.com

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Quick Links

• Blended Family Website: http://www.TheBlendedandStepFamilyResourceCenter.com
• Articles: http://www.theblendedandstepfamilyresourcecenter.com/articlesandnewsletters
• Reader Contributions:  http://www.blendedfamilyadvice.com/readercontributions
• Step Family Coaching: http://www.TheBlendedAndStepfamilyResourceCenter.com/coaching